May 29, 2011

i need OUT.

out of the house, out of ketchikan, out of life.  just temporarily, but still. i. need. out. i hate not having my own place (yes i have a fairly large space to call "mine" at the moment, but it's surrounded by family crap), not having my own kitchen, not being able to come & go as i please without someone noticing.  i don't like having to spend hours a week babysitting spoiled, whiney children in a very hot, humid building after i've already spent hours at work.  and i'm sooo tired of the chilly grey weather that is typical of southeast alaskan falls--it's the beginning of summer, goshdarnit!  family relationships have been tense and it's frustrating to not have close friends nearby to escape with and hash things out. 

then i talk to friends who are struggling to afford their rents, who are working 12-hour night shifts, who just had emergency surgeries, or who have family members going through cancer treatment, and i have to slap myself back to reality.  i'm really quite lucky.  things could be a million times worse, which doesn't negate or justify my annoyance with my situation but just puts it into perspective. 

on a brighter note, one of my hats was listed in an etsy treasury yesterday - the first time that's happened!  you can check it out HERE!  and i was almost booked to housesit (they ended up not needing me) on very great recommendations from who i can only assume to be past clients - don't know which ones, but that means i'm working up a repuation, which is pretty crazy.  hopefully i'll get a few jobs this summer to give me a quiet place to study when i start my master's program this summer, since my application and fafsa are done, as well as transcripts requested.  now the only thing to do is figure out when/how to start and how to pay for it....

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